How to be a good liberal

This has been making the rounds for a long time, but it's always good to read again (and yes, it saves the day when you don't have the time to post anything else). So, for those too young to remember, here are some basic guidelines on how to be a good liberal:

· You have to believe that nicotine is a highly addictive, dangerous drug, but marijuana and cocaine are not.

· You have to believe that killing unborn children is ok, but executing convicted killers is bad.

· You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

· You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Islamic terrorists.

· You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

· You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

· You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

· You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

· You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

· You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected but manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

· You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

· You have to believe that anyone who beats you in intellectual arguments is a bigot.


Have a good day everyone!